May is here – Political poem

A wall made of blue with some stolen red,
to keep out ‘ingenga’ in Old English she said.
Her roofs were all thatched ’til she tore them down,
changed all the boundaries in search of a crown.
She misses her targets, she snoops on her friends,
and uses opposers for her sordid ends.
Retreat from the world and fly the flag high,
cripple the country, the end feels nigh.


Stuff (an Autumn poem)

The crisp wind’s kisses bless my cheeks,
the golden leaves begin their dance.
A woollen jumper worn for weeks,
a cup of tea at any chance.

The crinkling, crunching leaves in piles,
and walking through the longer dark.
A bonfire we can see for miles,
and Halloween to make its mark.

My breath takes form before my eyes,
an inner dragon starts to wake.
Autumnal clouds in leaden skies,
this season’s gifts are ours to take.

A Poem for Puddin’

Yesterday I lost one of the loveliest ladies of my life. She was a bit off-character on Christmas day during the evening, but we thought little of it. On Boxing day she kept to herself more than usual, but she was largely herself for most of the day. I went out that night and came home at 1:30 in the morning, when I noticed that she really was not herself. She was barely moving, except every so often to switch from the couch to the floor and vice versa, she would lift her head up and occasionally wag her tail. I offered her a bit of pork and she didn’t touch it (she is usually a glutton). So I laid down on the floor with her when she was down there, sat with her when she was on the settee, until around 5am when I was getting too tired, so I carried her up to my bed and let her sleep with me for a change. I’d already realised that she might be dying, so much of those four hours were spent telling her how much I loved her. During the night she moved position twice, then in the morning my mum let her out. Apparently she struggled with the stairs. She spent most of the day lying down, occasionally drinking, and her legs seemed to stop working properly. We eventually got her to the vets in the evening. As I went to pick her up to take her to the car I found that she’d pee’d where she was lying, and during the car journey she poo’d without seeming to notice. At the vets we were told that it could have been a clot, so we chose to have her put down. I wrote this poem for her that night:

A future lost, a past worth treasuring,
But you weren’t you as I said my long goodbye.
I would have carried you until my arms gave out, had you been you.
I threw my heart and you chased it, curled up with it, gave warmth to it.
You may not be in my sight, but your warmth is in my heart,
It warms my tears.

Below is a charcoal picture I drew of her around 8 years ago.

The Desperate Fate of Dunning-Kruger – Poem

Whilst out walking I wrote this quatrain based on my experiences of certain individuals on Facebook discussion boards.


His weapons of choice are bluster and scoff,
He likes to think that we feel his wrath.
His ego pumps up this strange illusion,
It is rare to find such a strong delusion.

Pretentious Poetry

In September 2009 I was apparently inspired, whilst gardening, to write some pretentious poetry (supposedly nonsense, but I may have put meaning into them, and it seems that part of me thought that they were ironically pretentious, but I don’t even remember writing them). By the looks of it I liked the letter A.


Antithalian Apocatastasis

A panoply of crescendos sound the alarms,
Magniloquence interred.
Scholars and saints malevolently disarmed,
Perpetuation incipient.
Virulent perversion deified,
Apotheosis complete.
Putrefaction of souls fortified,
Sheol for the masses.
Apocalyptic signs in breakfast cereals,
Conflagration praised.
Elected supremacists gain life ethereal,
Abacinate the convoluted.
The end is nigh, all sinners die!
The end is nigh!

Misanthropy Veiled in Amorous Rhetoric

Deserved denigration, denied
Noetic rumination, denied
Veracious tergiversation, denied
Je t’aime, ik hou van jouw, nakupenda!
It’s good to be alive?

Aroynt Apocalyptic Ariolaters!

Apotropaic intentions auspicated,
Amanuenses venerated,
Arcifinious ignorance propagated,
Acidulous dissent eradicated,